Wednesday, May 21, 2003
Um.
Gosh, okay, how do I start this?
Things have happened. Strange and spontaneous and wonderful things have happened.
Yesterday I sat here writing that I had no one to go out with. I debated going out by myself and as the day wore on I realized that it is so not in my style to do such a thing. As I said, I need my friends around to give me the confidence that I wouldn’t have if I were on my own. So, knowing this, I decided to email my friend Joanna to see what was going on with her.
About two weeks ago, Joanna and I went to a party that was incredibly fun. We met some new people and flaunted ourselves around the scene. In fact, I am pretty sure we owned the party since we had people coming up to us left and right. We met these two gay guys there and to be honest, I don’t even remember what their names were. However, after the party, they told their friend, Ahmad, about me. Supposedly they went on and on about how great and cool I was and that I would be perfect for him. A compatible match. A week or so after the party, Joanna mentioned to me that this “Ahmad” was interested in meeting me. At the time, I kinda let it drop and didn’t give it much thought. So yesterday, when I didn’t have any plans, I decided to ask Joanna about him.
With very little effort on my part, an email exchange began between Ahmad and myself. I found him to be charming and polite and I even detected a sense of humor, which is always a plus. After a few emails to each other, Ahmad and I decided to meet up for dinner. After work, I rushed home, showered, had two glasses of wine and prepared for the first blind date I have ever had. My friends told me that he was “dark” colored and that he was very successful in his line of work. I have to admit I was pretty nervous about the whole “dark” thing as I have never actually dated a black or Latino guy before. I decided I was up for anything as long as he turned out to be fun.
I showed up at the corner of 44th and Lexington around 7:30pm. I waited for about 5 minutes and suddenly, out of nowhere, Ahmad showed up. I was shocked! I mean…SHOCKED. He looked so handsome and dashing. He was wearing a very expensive looking pin stripe suit and he was carrying a briefcase. We exchanged quick hellos and then went to a very nice French restaurant. At dinner I was able to scope him out a bit better. He has the most beautiful brown eyes and his skin is flawless. Not a blemish anywhere. Not like my pizza face. Sike. No one I know has pizza face. I feel bad for pizza faces. pizza face pizza face.
Ahmad is 27 years old and is about 5”10. He says he weighs 175#, but I get the impression that he weighs a bit more than that. He has big and strong arms and his shoulders are solid slabs of beef. And we know that I like the beef. He has a great chest he totally outclassed me with his suit and overall exterior. I was incredibly nervous as we sat down to dinner. I found myself stumbling on my words. Sitting in front of me was a complete man and I have never felt so balanced by someone in my life. He took incredible care of me. He was polite and a gentleman and treated me like gold. Without being overbearing, Ahmad gave me quite a few sweet and kind compliments.
During dinner, which I ate none of, Ahmad and I talked about numerous things, ranging from religion (he’s Muslim, which I found incredibly intriguing) to jobs to family to our passions in life. I opened up immediately to him and found myself detailing the struggles that I go through on a daily basis. He listened to each and every word I said with interest. He opened up to me as well; talking about the loss of his grandfather, the fact that his family doesn’t know that he is gay, and about the fact that he has never truly been in love. As dinner progressed, I found myself wanting to be in his arms, laying there, being held and protected.
After dinner, Ahmad and I went back to my apartment to smoke a bowl. (yes he smokes pot, folks! He’s a keeper!) We blasted “Monster Ballads” (a collection of the best hair band songs from the early 90’s) and sang along to it together. At the end of “To Be With You” by Mr. Big, Ahmad asked if he could kiss me. I said, “please do” and he stood up, put his hands on my waist, I wrapped my arms around his neck and he gave me the softest and most tender kiss I think I have ever received. I get kind of shy in those situations, so I pulled away before it was necessary. I enjoyed the kiss, but I couldn’t stop thinking that I was cheating on my boyfriend. The reason I thought this was because I loved everything that was happening. I loved it too much.
Ahmad invited me to go back to his apartment in Queens. He lives by himself and despite the fact that he still hasn’t unpacked all of the boxes from his move, he wanted me there to talk to, to hold, to spend the night with. I packed my overnight bag and we took a cab to his place. Once in his apartment, I was blown away by the numerous pieces of art he had displayed on both the walls and his countertops. He is definitely an aficionado of fine things. The kid has worked hard to be where he is and I was proud that he wanted to share some of it with me. We smoked another bowl and watched a bit of an old James Bond movie. We discussed his future goals as well as mine and we kissed on and off throughout the rest of the evening.
At 2:30am, we both decided that it was time to go to bed. I slept in his college gym shirt and a pair of my boxers. He slept in just boxers. He does not have a 6-pak and thank goodness, cuz I don’t have one either and that’s always an awkward moment. If one guy has it, the other guy always feel like an ass. I guess it’s a gay thing. But looking at him half-naked, I began to sport the biggest hard on ever. While not huge, he is solid and strong and totally man. He asked if I wanted a massage and of course I said “yes”. His hands were like iron. Seriously this guy has the strength of a thousand men in those hands. I melted completely.
I didn’t have to do anything. He paid for dinner, he hailed all of the cabs, he opened doors for me, he made sure I was happy at every moment. And then did I ask him if he wanted a massage? No, I just took mine and loved it. hahaha. But it’s nice to be treated like gold sometimes. I fell asleep lying on his chest, his arm wrapped around my back. It was kind of a rough sleep, new environment and all. The last time I saw the clock, it was 3:30am. We were up again at 7am. Needless to say, I feel very worn out today. On top of getting no sleep, I was completely swept off my feet by a man. A MUSLIM man. Who would’ve ever thought?
When I got out of bed this morning, I found that he had gotten up a little earlier and ironed my clothes along with his suit. I mean, is this guy for real? He irons my clothes?? Gosh…he was pretty great. I showered and got ready and we commuted together this morning. As in typical gay style, he kissed me before we left his apartment so as not to get ourselves beat up on the way to work. It was a long and sweet kiss. To be honest, I am getting hard just thinking about it.
So that’s that! He has emailed me a couple of times this morning and it is pretty apparent that he is smitten.
I done good!
So we will wait and see. I did tell him about Paul, but I explained it as though Paul and I were pretty much over. Truth is, Paul and I are not over. Not by a long shot. Usually I would tell Paul about me going out and meeting other people. But this time, I’m going to hold it in for awhile. It will just upset him and I don’t see any reason to upset him unless it turns into something a lot more serious. I was very well behaved last night. I didn’t hook up with him at all. He simply kissed me a few times and treated me the way my current boyfriend should be treating me.
I’m still very much in love with Paul. But I am tired of having my heart broken daily. I am tired of not feeling special and I am tired of being with someone who is more concerned about their job and their friends then they are with me. I want a real man. A real man takes care of his woman. Or in this case, his gay. Ahmad showed me an incredible time last night and I am still reeling from it. I am very lucky to have met someone with such class and dignity; someone who, despite his intimidating financial status, is down to earth and real.
Man, what has happened?
Gosh, okay, how do I start this?
Things have happened. Strange and spontaneous and wonderful things have happened.
Yesterday I sat here writing that I had no one to go out with. I debated going out by myself and as the day wore on I realized that it is so not in my style to do such a thing. As I said, I need my friends around to give me the confidence that I wouldn’t have if I were on my own. So, knowing this, I decided to email my friend Joanna to see what was going on with her.
About two weeks ago, Joanna and I went to a party that was incredibly fun. We met some new people and flaunted ourselves around the scene. In fact, I am pretty sure we owned the party since we had people coming up to us left and right. We met these two gay guys there and to be honest, I don’t even remember what their names were. However, after the party, they told their friend, Ahmad, about me. Supposedly they went on and on about how great and cool I was and that I would be perfect for him. A compatible match. A week or so after the party, Joanna mentioned to me that this “Ahmad” was interested in meeting me. At the time, I kinda let it drop and didn’t give it much thought. So yesterday, when I didn’t have any plans, I decided to ask Joanna about him.
With very little effort on my part, an email exchange began between Ahmad and myself. I found him to be charming and polite and I even detected a sense of humor, which is always a plus. After a few emails to each other, Ahmad and I decided to meet up for dinner. After work, I rushed home, showered, had two glasses of wine and prepared for the first blind date I have ever had. My friends told me that he was “dark” colored and that he was very successful in his line of work. I have to admit I was pretty nervous about the whole “dark” thing as I have never actually dated a black or Latino guy before. I decided I was up for anything as long as he turned out to be fun.
I showed up at the corner of 44th and Lexington around 7:30pm. I waited for about 5 minutes and suddenly, out of nowhere, Ahmad showed up. I was shocked! I mean…SHOCKED. He looked so handsome and dashing. He was wearing a very expensive looking pin stripe suit and he was carrying a briefcase. We exchanged quick hellos and then went to a very nice French restaurant. At dinner I was able to scope him out a bit better. He has the most beautiful brown eyes and his skin is flawless. Not a blemish anywhere. Not like my pizza face. Sike. No one I know has pizza face. I feel bad for pizza faces. pizza face pizza face.
Ahmad is 27 years old and is about 5”10. He says he weighs 175#, but I get the impression that he weighs a bit more than that. He has big and strong arms and his shoulders are solid slabs of beef. And we know that I like the beef. He has a great chest he totally outclassed me with his suit and overall exterior. I was incredibly nervous as we sat down to dinner. I found myself stumbling on my words. Sitting in front of me was a complete man and I have never felt so balanced by someone in my life. He took incredible care of me. He was polite and a gentleman and treated me like gold. Without being overbearing, Ahmad gave me quite a few sweet and kind compliments.
During dinner, which I ate none of, Ahmad and I talked about numerous things, ranging from religion (he’s Muslim, which I found incredibly intriguing) to jobs to family to our passions in life. I opened up immediately to him and found myself detailing the struggles that I go through on a daily basis. He listened to each and every word I said with interest. He opened up to me as well; talking about the loss of his grandfather, the fact that his family doesn’t know that he is gay, and about the fact that he has never truly been in love. As dinner progressed, I found myself wanting to be in his arms, laying there, being held and protected.
After dinner, Ahmad and I went back to my apartment to smoke a bowl. (yes he smokes pot, folks! He’s a keeper!) We blasted “Monster Ballads” (a collection of the best hair band songs from the early 90’s) and sang along to it together. At the end of “To Be With You” by Mr. Big, Ahmad asked if he could kiss me. I said, “please do” and he stood up, put his hands on my waist, I wrapped my arms around his neck and he gave me the softest and most tender kiss I think I have ever received. I get kind of shy in those situations, so I pulled away before it was necessary. I enjoyed the kiss, but I couldn’t stop thinking that I was cheating on my boyfriend. The reason I thought this was because I loved everything that was happening. I loved it too much.
Ahmad invited me to go back to his apartment in Queens. He lives by himself and despite the fact that he still hasn’t unpacked all of the boxes from his move, he wanted me there to talk to, to hold, to spend the night with. I packed my overnight bag and we took a cab to his place. Once in his apartment, I was blown away by the numerous pieces of art he had displayed on both the walls and his countertops. He is definitely an aficionado of fine things. The kid has worked hard to be where he is and I was proud that he wanted to share some of it with me. We smoked another bowl and watched a bit of an old James Bond movie. We discussed his future goals as well as mine and we kissed on and off throughout the rest of the evening.
At 2:30am, we both decided that it was time to go to bed. I slept in his college gym shirt and a pair of my boxers. He slept in just boxers. He does not have a 6-pak and thank goodness, cuz I don’t have one either and that’s always an awkward moment. If one guy has it, the other guy always feel like an ass. I guess it’s a gay thing. But looking at him half-naked, I began to sport the biggest hard on ever. While not huge, he is solid and strong and totally man. He asked if I wanted a massage and of course I said “yes”. His hands were like iron. Seriously this guy has the strength of a thousand men in those hands. I melted completely.
I didn’t have to do anything. He paid for dinner, he hailed all of the cabs, he opened doors for me, he made sure I was happy at every moment. And then did I ask him if he wanted a massage? No, I just took mine and loved it. hahaha. But it’s nice to be treated like gold sometimes. I fell asleep lying on his chest, his arm wrapped around my back. It was kind of a rough sleep, new environment and all. The last time I saw the clock, it was 3:30am. We were up again at 7am. Needless to say, I feel very worn out today. On top of getting no sleep, I was completely swept off my feet by a man. A MUSLIM man. Who would’ve ever thought?
When I got out of bed this morning, I found that he had gotten up a little earlier and ironed my clothes along with his suit. I mean, is this guy for real? He irons my clothes?? Gosh…he was pretty great. I showered and got ready and we commuted together this morning. As in typical gay style, he kissed me before we left his apartment so as not to get ourselves beat up on the way to work. It was a long and sweet kiss. To be honest, I am getting hard just thinking about it.
So that’s that! He has emailed me a couple of times this morning and it is pretty apparent that he is smitten.
I done good!
So we will wait and see. I did tell him about Paul, but I explained it as though Paul and I were pretty much over. Truth is, Paul and I are not over. Not by a long shot. Usually I would tell Paul about me going out and meeting other people. But this time, I’m going to hold it in for awhile. It will just upset him and I don’t see any reason to upset him unless it turns into something a lot more serious. I was very well behaved last night. I didn’t hook up with him at all. He simply kissed me a few times and treated me the way my current boyfriend should be treating me.
I’m still very much in love with Paul. But I am tired of having my heart broken daily. I am tired of not feeling special and I am tired of being with someone who is more concerned about their job and their friends then they are with me. I want a real man. A real man takes care of his woman. Or in this case, his gay. Ahmad showed me an incredible time last night and I am still reeling from it. I am very lucky to have met someone with such class and dignity; someone who, despite his intimidating financial status, is down to earth and real.
Man, what has happened?
